Since I was a little girl, I knew I always wanted to be a mom. I knew I always wanted to stay home with my kids, take them on fun adventures, play dates, that life would just come to them naturally, and they would be easy to love.

What I found out was that a different motherhood path was chosen for me. One that would be like a soap opera on some days. One that would push me to my limits, to only break me down, but then at the same time fill me with a love and inspiration to make life better for my kids, my husband, and me.

After Charlie was born 3 years ago, my husband (Dave) and I just thought we would have an exhausting couple of months trying to get a new baby into a sleep schedule. Our oldest son Jack slept through the night by 8 weeks so we thought that would be the case for Charlie. We were very off! Well, that 2 months turned into us saying, well maybe things will get better when he's 6 months, then that turned into 9 months, 12 months, and so on. We didn't just suffer from lack of sleep, he just wasn't happy like how we experienced with Jack. Who knew that a little tiny person, a part of you, could make you feel so overwhelmed, panicked, and scared. I know I'm lucky to be able to stay home with my children, but I can remember I couldn't wait for Dave to get home from work to give me some relief. I still felt helpless and confused about whatever was going on with Charlie, but at least when Dave was home, I didn't have to totally experience it alone.

I think everyone wants a fairytale for their life, who doesn't? Unfortunately, for me before discovering Charlie's epilepsy, and SPD, I felt like I was living in a nightmare some days. The thought of having another baby was totally out of the question, it took all I could to just make it through the day with Charlie!

What I'm so happy to say now is that 3 years later, with a lot more perspective, and a baby on the way, is that all the hardships are worth it. I've come to realize that our SPD kids give us miracles every day! They make the little mundane activities amazing at times. For example, when Charlie had his first day of camp at the age of 2, he said "Hi Mommy!" to me when I picked him up! It made me cry because he never called me mommy before then. (Miracle!) My oldest son Jack has mild SPD, and basically any major gross motor movement, or any every day physical activity is very challenging and scary for him. He was never able to make a tricycle work, so, when Jack made the pedals work on his bike at the age of 5 for the first time, we saw a miracle! When after 3 years we were able to eat a complete meal at a restaurant without any meltdowns, my husband and I felt like we had the best life ever to be able to experience that. Just a couple days ago, for the first time in Charlie's life, he ate everything on his plate, even the new healthy foods! That moment made my day, it was as if in my eyes he was a new world record holder for eating his food!  Every once and awhile we'll catch Charlie playing independently with a toy, not prompted by us, but just him enjoying the toy, it truly amazes us when he does that. Jack has grown so much with his therapy, it's so exciting to see him not be afraid of the swing at the park anymore!

The point I'm trying to make is that when you're child has SPD, you get the gift of being able to see miracles every day in the little things. Some days I still feel like I'm just getting through the day, but other days I truly feel like I get to experience that fairytale that I always imagined, and it's just so sweet to be able to appreciate moments like that. So keep your eyes open for all those little miracles, you never know when you'll get to see one!